Brother: You just have to respect the machine or else you might lose some fingers.

Me: Yep!

Brother: I don't know if you know this, Meatch, but fingers are very important. You need fingers, even if its just for eating.

Me: Ack, don't know, bro, I really don't feel like eating my own fingers after the machine had its way with them. Might leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Brother: In that case, you wouldn't mind I have a bite, then?

Co-Worker: You two dipshits couldn't have picked a better time (lunch time) to have this conversation?

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On the way back home...

Me: So I hear horse meat is pretty good?

Brother: Meatch, horse meat is the best